she says these blogs are an easy way to let your emotions out, we shall see.
so, i guess life's not too bad on the surface, a few bruises visible on the skin but you would never know any different, until you look into the eyes, I'm not talking in general, i mean the very centre of the eye, its like a portal straight to the heart, and the right eye is like a key, as soon as her eyes look deep into mine, just like a key, they unlock my heart, (excuse the cliche). Ive had many attempts of finding the right 'key' some come close but others are no-where near and either end up shattering the very soul of me, others leave me standing, but in a position of utter sorriness and guilt possibly because of something i had done, but mostly the guilt i felt was just a mirror of their emotions but they were too scared to tell me how they felt.
loves a tricky one, people expect it to just come and they know straight away that its love, others think you have to give it time and effort, personally Ive tried both but somehow nothing seems to come of it, maybe I'm not getting the right girls, maybe I'm looking too hard, so i decided to leave it, let the girl come to me, that didn't really work so i decided, i don't need a girl in my life, yeah I'm a flirt and i do like the women but i could do with sorting myself out but to do this, i need the help of someone so its like catch 22.
I have dreams and ambitions so when i get girls wanting to be more than mates or if i start developing feelings then i tend to become sceptical and nervous because I'm often the pessimist and think that when we leave school one of us will move on and I'm worried that if i settle down now, it will end up in tears and i really don't want that for me or 'her' , so i tend to lead people on without realising and then back off at the last minute because I'm honestly scared, i have so many dreams and most of them involve 'her' but i don't know if it will work or if i should live my dreams first?
well that's the first of many, you cant tell much from that but slowly and surely you will begin to see my world, my mind unfold, leaving myself completely open so one day i can show people and say, that's how i feel and I'm not ashamed cause i am my own person and i will fly, i will make it, one day, i just need to work it out and the rest will follow.
